Onion Bhaji Argy-Bargy
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A single bhaji lingered Alone upon my plate, Not so much a foodstuff As a channel of her hate. She eyed it up with black intent, Then picked it up quite sprightly And jammed it up my nose Until I couldn't breathe quite rightly. I yearned to tell my story, Explain I bore no blame. It was just a strange coincidence The blonde had known my name. But the bhaji choked my silver words. My lungs could not inflate. Then the onion inhalation Caused my gut to detonate. I clambered up the tablecloth, Grasping at the water, But slipped up on my vomit and Fell on a wrestler's daughter Her father bashed me up a bit And spun me round the room. He made me eat more bhajis Then impaled me on a broom. And so I've learnt my lesson: When cheating on your bird, Don't let her near your bhajis Coz she'll make you look a turd.
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Poem Study Notes:Whilst watching a cookery show, the poet just couldn't stop thinking to himself: What rhymes with onion bhaji? A few days later, this poem was the slightly disappointing result. This was written in 2003ish. The last verse is appalling - please feel free to improve it.
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