Bowel Trouble - The Sequel
So I cleaned up my dietAnd patched up my arse,
Life became peaceful
And log jams were sparse.
But the good times soon faded
And I'm wholly to blame
For I wed a Korean
And spice was her game.
Now each time that I squat
There's a thunderous roar
And the log man leaps out
And he's worse than before.
He's upgraded his kit
With jig-saws and chisels
And he sets to his task
'til my arse is a sizz-le
-ing mess and the toilet
Erupts all in flame
(And my wife starts to
Fill out the insurance claim),
And he belches, guffaws
And with arse-curdling growls
Reminds me, while packing
My duct full of dowels
'til my digestive organs
Align with my jowls
(At which point he politely
Hands me a towel)
Reminds me, while priming
His jagged pipe-cleaner,
Reminds me he'll censure
Each arse misdemeanour,
Reminds me he'll be there
Without anaesthesia
Whenever I'm bad
To my bowels.
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