McDonald’s Only Serve Sausage And Egg McMuffins


Up Until Half Past Ten

We're watching Saturday
Morning cookery
On TV; wide-eyed
Amateurs impressing
Mock-military judges
With parcels and fools
And baskets and coulis
And ganaches and jus.
My wife likes a recipe
And asks me to record
It for posterity and for dinner.
But I couldn't care less
About eggs julienne
Because it's coming up
To half past ten
And my head is screaming
‘Run for the muffin!
Run for the muffin!’


The poet with a muffin in his mouth
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Poem Study Notes:


This is a poem vaguely about competitive cooking shows, especially of the celebrity variety ... they are shot like hollywood thrillers, with split-second-editing, super-super-zoom close-ups and space-battle-music in order to create dramatic tension out of (it has to be said) poor raw materials.

Having said that, the poet is a fan of these shows!

The poet really does like sausage and egg mcmuffins and was in muffin heaven when he lived in Hong Kong for a year, where they have the good sense and required skills to serve them all day.

Apparently from time to time McDonald's hold heated discussions at board level as to whether the rest of the world should take on the all-day-muffin-challenge, but so far talks have always broken down.

We can only hope that our children, or our children's children get to eat muffins more regularly than those who had the bad luck to be born in the muffin semi-dark ages.

But, as I mentioned, in Hong Kong the muffins are 24/7 ... What do they know that we don't?